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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in Rev. Shawn's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
7:25 pm
[soulcrying]
Time to spill ME!!!!
OK REAL FOR WHO OUT THERE!!!!!! (with a encuraging voice)

(give the low down if i can of where I am currently)

Clearwater, FL in a library sitting in front of this computer....(ok that wasn't hard)

OK I'M NOT YELLING SO EVERYBODY KNOWS.....THIS RIGHT HERE IS A VOICE OF EXCITEMENT IN HOW EVER WAY YOU WANT TO IMAGINE... I've got seven min. left on the timer so i'm going to try and be quick as I can...

I've been trying the hardest I can to keep with this this thing....But i don't see people that really want it.....The thing that I want to see is the people that ARE real 4 him........I've got a big story if anyone wants to know.. My whole life is a testamony of what things are to come and what things have past.....The first entry I put in here is an amazing thing in itself to me for the lack of self confedence I have for myself..... (4 min)

3 now...
To those people that know me which I would really only venture to say ONE!!!! she knows who she is......and if you've got doubts......shame on you is all i have to say :) :) :)

My life is changing every sticken day... More and more I feel it for the better... So I want to have people come on board with me so we can share all the wonderfull things that are to come............Lets see those posts.....


(course it would help if I had a computer)

Signing off......
BENJAMIN P. O'DONNELL The White Nyte
Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
12:16 pm
[soulcrying]
Hard to belive where things come and go
So many things to discribe in my mind, where to start? The beginning of a perfect year is all I can speak of. This COMMUNITIY has got to change as far as communication between us all though. I've been horible when it comes to posting like I originaly wanted to. Where are we??? Who are we??? What are we doing in this world thats making a difference for who we are in CHRIST!!! I'm a very passionate person with alot of will to do a lot of things. It's the commitment that it takes though. Commitment that I need a lot of help with.
There are so many things on the idea list of things to be. I really just want to be focused on becoming what we all need the most. A TRUE COMMUNITY of FAITH.....I'm ready, able, and willing to start.

Who's with me...(only time will tell if the commitment can stay alive)

Till next time,
Benjamin Paul O'Donnell, Esquire

I AM The_White_Nyte

Current Mood: accomplished
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
7:50 pm
[mysweetestdream]
hello God bless...is me Rachel....mysweetestdream...pinkasdream


dropin by to say hi .....I have not forgot of yall....

i have not forgot of my creator- though it might seem like it


I love yall all...

Jesus bless all of yall
Saturday, March 4th, 2006
8:12 pm
[mysweetestdream]
February 21, 2006...i wished it was the last day of my life...
my dad gave me a hundred bucks...so i would go get checked up with the doctor...
i decided to use those a $100 dollars to buy pills.. all kinds of sleeping pills..extra strenght..
i was tired of all the pain i was having to take...
i felt i let the Lord down when my marriage promise was broken by him
I felt defeated...destroyed
I went to Baylor Garland
I took about 80 pills around 12:30
Waited......about 30 minutes in the car @ 1:00
then I notice I start getting very sleepy
i decided to go in to the ER
i signed in
i felt dizzy
they call me to take my vital signs
the lady said "OMG!" called someone else
in about a minute
a doctor came with a wheel chair
took me
sat me in a room
asked me what was wrong i said "I feel dizzy and very sleepy"
they took me in to another room
I saw a black shadow that had been following me for the past two weeks
this time he said "this time you are mine"
he moved in the room all around me
i started to feel scared
then a doctor comes in
starts asking me questions
then i hear him shouting
we are loosing this patient
i tought it was all over
i lost myself
i dont know what happened for the rest of the time
i woke up on February 23, 2005 aound 3:00 pm
I hear a doctor
"the ambulance will be hear to pick her up at 5:00"
they took me to a mental hospital
I was let out on Friday March 3,2005
I felt like i was crazy
they kept asking me if i was still feeling suicidal...
i lied, to get out
i felt like i was in jail in there
i hated it there

pray for me please
Monday, February 20th, 2006
8:24 am
[mysweetestdream]
I CANT CONTINUE...
I FEEL DEAD ALIVE...
IF GOD COULD TAKE ME WITH HIM
I DONT WANNA STAY IN THIS WORLD ANYLONGER
I AM DYING
I WANT TO DIE...
I REFUSE TO TAKE ANY MORE PAIN....
I LOVE HIM TO MUCH
AND I CAN NOT SEE HIM LEAVE ME
PLEASE

JESUS IF YOU LOVE ME TAKE ME

I HAVE NO MORE STRENGHT...
I HAVE NO MORE WILL FOR LIFE..
I FEEL DEFEATED....
I AM ALL DONE...I HAD MORE THAN ENOUGHT
LIFE HAS ONLY OFFERED ME SADNESS...DISSAPOINTMENT...PAIN
MY GIRLS ARE ALL I HAVE GOOD
AND JESUS

MY LORD JESUS

Current Mood: disappointed
Friday, February 17th, 2006
12:51 pm
[mysweetestdream]
HI MY NAME IS RACHEL
I AM 23.... AND STAY IN GARLAND, TEXAS

I NEED FRIENDS..
TRUE FRIENDS ONLY
NOT THE ONES THAT COME THAT DECIDE THEY DONT WANNA BE FRIENDS ANYMORE AND LEAVE YOU.
I NEED FRIENS THAT ARE WILLING TO BE THERE IN GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES.
I WANT LASTING FRIENDS
NOT DISPOSABLE FRIENDS
I WANT TO KNOW THAT MY FRIENDSHIP IS APPRECIATED..

IF YOU THINK YOU ARE MATURE....
YOU LIKE LASTING FRIENDS
YOU LIKE TO BE A FRIEND IN THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES
I AM HERE

GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
12:45 am
[kerussoe]
You might be interested in this community too...

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If you have any questions feel free to contact one of the moderators.

Friday, February 18th, 2005
6:14 pm
[soulcrying]
I'm Back
as much as i've neglected to post and update things in live journal. I'm still out here in the world liviving. The thing that I'm always asking myself in commitment situations is "Can I live up to this commitment?" No one knows my full history and my past in the countless circumstances where i've never lived up to the things that i've said i would. It seems; lazyness, distractions, life issues, whatever it is that --> and here's the real problem ---> I decide to adhere to and give ear to, other than the voice of the Spirit.

And I come to what I want to say, and my problem. I love people, i'm 21 years old in a place in my life where i'm in the process of being discipled to study and learn the word of God. I have people around me everyday constaintly reminding me of the Mind of Christ. So im here, but I don't know how well I can commit to being consistant in being apart of posting.

Right now i'm deciding to make another change in my life that I hope I don't back down from or think about how many times i've failed in doing it. To me living real for Jesus is CONSTAINTLY living your life in Romans 12:1 and then picking up Romans 8:11. It's a continual putting on of Christ...Every....Single...Day......Waking up with the constant mind set of FIGHTING. This enemy that we call flesh.

I need your prayers to keep fighting, to keep disipline in the front of my mind, and continue in His word.

I'll come back here in a few days, till I talk with you all later. It's a great thing to see people lay thier life down for His name sake, I hope to be one who walks with Him, and along the way talk with the people who are following this path.

Shalom, (peace be with you)
Benjamin O'Donnell
Monday, December 13th, 2004
9:23 am
[revshawn]
Real 4 Jesus on the inside
I learned a lesson yesterday. I sat in my chair in the second row of church yesterday, and cried my eyes out as I watched inmates lead our church in praise and worship. I'm talking about guys who had tattoos lining their bodies, huge guys, little mean looking guys, and normal looking guys who just messed up once too big. But all in all, these guys were not petty thieves, but serious inmates who were doing 10, 20, 30 and up years in state prison. Guys who had come to know Jesus Christ in a serious way, and were now leading His people in worship. I was floored. They were serving Jesus Christ on the inside. Not just inside of them, but from the inside of a state prison. They didn't have to deal with life on the outside, they were barred up, and until they served their term, they were going nowhere. But I couldn't believe my ears when one of the men talked about how that Monday (today) was his last day in prison, and he had actually held out his term so that he could finish ministering with the rest of his fellow inmates. He had asked the warden two times to let him stay in the prison so that the group could finish the different ministry things they were working on. He could have been out months ago, but he chose to stay because of what Jesus was doing with him and those men. He's going home today, and he intends to become the pastor of a church.

Paul the apostle was imprisoned so many times. He called himself a prisoner of Christ. He was real 4 Jesus on the inside. So were these men. They had nowhere to go, so they chose Jesus. And if they ever get out, they will continue to serve him from the inside because the bars that surround these men have nothing to do with the prison, but the heart. They are prisoners of Jesus Christ for life, they are real 4 Jesus.

They challenged me to live my life with a new intensity, to become a prisoner of Jesus Christ on the inside. To realize that there is no other way, there is no other choice, and if I'm to be real 4 Jesus, I must allow Jesus to chain me up to Him, to surround me with prison bars, that I might be His prisoner and bondservant.

Yes and Amen.
Saturday, December 11th, 2004
11:58 pm
[revshawn]
Back To The Basics
Hey, So I'm sitting here looking at Live Journal stuff and I realize that I created this thing and perhaps never even posted. Then I start seeing that other people have, and I start thinking wow, this is nuts. I need to get back into this because this is a good opportunity.

Real 4 Jesus... That's such an interesting topic, and I've even been sitting here in my office tonight wondering, why have people lost the desire to be real 4 Jesus? It's all about the outside appearance, it's all about physical labels that turn us into lovers of Jesus. But is a real relationship with the King of Kings substituted for good hair, appealing style or smoothe vocals? I see so many leaders nowadays who claim spiritual understanding and deepened relationship with God and Christ who swear, smoke, drink and find their grace within a reckless Christianity. Where is the reality of the cross that gave us the exit from those things.

Who is real 4 Jesus? It's not me, as much I wish it were. But I wanna be. What will it take? Can we re-direct this community to it's origin? Can we re-dig the wells from years past and uncover the mystery of being real 4 Jesus?

What do you say? I look forward to hearing from you.
Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
10:28 am
[mysweetestdream]
Please, Please...............

i need your prayers

i want to feel i belong to God

i want to go back to God

i am going to start praying

i want to be able to bring new souls to God

please pray for my spiritual life

please!

God Bless Each one of you
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
9:52 am
[mysweetestdream]
Let Your light shine!
let your light shine
the light of Jesus
you can not hide it
you can not keep this to your self in all the necessity.
let your light show in the darkness

in the world there is more than 40% of the total population
that have not heard the name of Jesus
this is 2.4000 million people
they have not heard a song
have not read it in a history book
the majority of this
do not have a history book,
because they do not have an alphabet
a big part of this is the ethnicity
that has been forgotten the ones that are isolated from society
far away in the mountains, in the desserts
while the church of God waste their times arguing, fighting
all this million of people are lead to an eternity with out Jesus
what are we going to do

lets be the generation that take the message of hope
let your light shine
dont hide it!
there is need out there
Romans 10:14

Current Mood: sad
Friday, June 11th, 2004
10:18 pm
[yildunkitalpha]
wow, i guess i didnt realize the last person to post in here was last year...that kinda sucks
Tuesday, June 8th, 2004
8:03 pm
[yildunkitalpha]
hey...i'm a new member... real4jesus is just what i want to be. And its good to talk with other believers who feel the same :)
Monday, August 25th, 2003
6:26 pm
[soulcrying]
someone looking for something real
well...how to discribe the excitement...dissapointment....and then excitement in such a weird way one after the other...I'm looking around on live journal...really just wandering in and out of journals of christians all over the place....and i stumble upon a community known as jesus freaks....this is the first time i've seen the whole comunity thing as being an option for live journal....for the past few months i've been looking for somewhere i can learn more grow more other then in my home town here in Gainesville, GA....My main goal is to find other people who know what it means to be on fire for God...to have that zeal...that passion to run after what he wants....it seems this world is full of people that don't know what it means to live for God...this whole mentality of christianity has been dulled....and shaped into just another religion.....it's time to throw it in the fire and re shape what it means to live for God......sharing with others the message of Christ and the growth that he's given you in life is something i TRULY desire to do...where to start...how to start....i guess is what i'm searching for....so i find a place to search for community's...type in...real christians...then i see three names...click on the first one...and it's a wonderfuly colored green journal of a Pastor Shawn who i read the first entry to and actually enjoy reading....so i check the info...come to find he's a children's pastor...intreged at everything i'm finding and becoming excited that theres a guy here who i'm starting to agree with.....look at the member of community's and find what i'm looking for...real4jesus...my heart leaps....thats exactly what i've been looking for...click on it....come to find theres been two entries....go back....come to find those people arnt even members anymore....all of a suddin im just like...this cant be it...there has to be more to this....i look back and i'm the only one who's singed up to watch this community....that fealing of heart sinking starts to come in.....then a burst of excitement......what could this mean.....so i tell myself Ben..this could mean the begining of something very cool.....the idea that i was searching for was found....come to find theres very few people who want to be in it...is this because there are very few people out there who are willing to put forth the effort of starting something that says...."look around you...how many of you have seen the same thing happen in churches sunday after sunday...and then look at those people's lives when thier out of church...and wonder....if they act this way out of church....what makes me so different from a christian...sure i'll go to church"......i've seen this where i live now...i've seen it in the school i went to....i see it in the people i talk to online.......the question now is what can i do to get this idea out......that theres something the chruch has been missing...and i still think the church is missing something......my cry is that people begin to notice that God wants much more then our sundays...and our wensdays....he wants our lives....the intire 24/7 existance..and the only way to stay in tune with that....is by being in the word...i came accross something today...."therefore, laying aside all MALICE, all DECEIT, HYPOCRISY, ENVY, and all EVIL SPEAKING, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the WORD, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious." (1 Peter 2:1-3).....that struck me and i wondered....is that what so many people that have grown up going to chruch every sunday and wed. have forgoten....the word....you have to be in the word.....i mean i can remember myself when i was a kid i heard that said to me alot....but did i ever do it.....did i ever spend day after day after day after day...READING....no....as simple as that is it cant be reiterated enough......reading the bible is among the one book that must KNOW....and when i say know that means know that it's in your heart...know that your living it...know that whatever action you take your making sure it's acording to what the book says............ok.....you know this never ment to be blown out into all of this....but this is what being REAL is all about...and i've been looking for something that is real.....and not something thats full of 600 some odd members like i've seen in other message boards that are dedicated to growing in what God has for them.....i'm apart of a youth group who's name is Beyond12.....to go beyond what it is that the 12 disiples did....to walk and talk just like they did....and continue with what they left off doing.....the message that struck me when i came here was one on a Beliver or Disciple.....heres a deffenition of
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<disciple:>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

well...how to discribe the excitement...dissapointment....and then excitement in such a weird way one after the other...I'm looking around on live journal...really just wandering in and out of journals of christians all over the place....and i stumble upon a community known as jesus freaks....this is the first time i've seen the whole comunity thing as being an option for live journal....for the past few months i've been looking for somewhere i can learn more grow more other then in my home town here in Gainesville, GA....My main goal is to find other people who know what it means to be on fire for God...to have that zeal...that passion to run after what he wants....it seems this world is full of people that don't know what it means to live for God...this whole mentality of christianity has been dulled....and shaped into just another religion.....it's time to throw it in the fire and re shape what it means to live for God......sharing with others the message of Christ and the growth that he's given you in life is something i TRULY desire to do...where to start...how to start....i guess is what i'm searching for....so i find a place to search for community's...type in...real christians...then i see three names...click on the first one...and it's a wonderfuly colored green journal of a Pastor Shawn who i read the first entry to and actually enjoy reading....so i check the info...come to find he's a children's pastor...intreged at everything i'm finding and becoming excited that theres a guy here who i'm starting to agree with.....look at the member of community's and find what i'm looking for...real4jesus...my heart leaps....thats exactly what i've been looking for...click on it....come to find theres been two entries....go back....come to find those people arnt even members anymore....all of a suddin im just like...this cant be it...there has to be more to this....i look back and i'm the only one who's singed up to watch this community....that fealing of heart sinking starts to come in.....then a burst of excitement......what could this mean.....so i tell myself Ben..this could mean the begining of something very cool.....the idea that i was searching for was found....come to find theres very few people who want to be in it...is this because there are very few people out there who are willing to put forth the effort of starting something that says...."look around you...how many of you have seen the same thing happen in churches sunday after sunday...and then look at those people's lives when thier out of church...and wonder....if they act this way out of church....what makes me so different from a christian...sure i'll go to church"......i've seen this where i live now...i've seen it in the school i went to....i see it in the people i talk to online.......the question now is what can i do to get this idea out......that theres something the chruch has been missing...and i still think the church is missing something......my cry is that people begin to notice that God wants much more then our sundays...and our wensdays....he wants our lives....the intire 24/7 existance..and the only way to stay in tune with that....is by being in the word...i came accross something today...."therefore, laying aside all MALICE, all DECEIT, HYPOCRISY, ENVY, and all EVIL SPEAKING, as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the WORD, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious." (1 Peter 2:1-3).....that struck me and i wondered....is that what so many people that have grown up going to chruch every sunday and wed. have forgoten....the word....you have to be in the word.....i mean i can remember myself when i was a kid i heard that said to me alot....but did i ever do it.....did i ever spend day after day after day after day...READING....no....as simple as that is it cant be reiterated enough......reading the bible is among the one book that must KNOW....and when i say know that means know that it's in your heart...know that your living it...know that whatever action you take your making sure it's acording to what the book says............ok.....you know this never ment to be blown out into all of this....but this is what being REAL is all about...and i've been looking for something that is real.....and not something thats full of 600 some odd members like i've seen in other message boards that are dedicated to growing in what God has for them.....i'm apart of a youth group who's name is Beyond12.....to go beyond what it is that the 12 disiples did....to walk and talk just like they did....and continue with what they left off doing.....the message that struck me when i came here was one on a Beliver or Disciple.....heres a deffenition of <Disciple: One who embraces and assists in spreading the teachings of another>....Jesus being that person...we are to embrace him...devot our time to spreading his word....his teachings.....it's the final word that Jesus spoke to us...TO GO....and the only way we're going to be able to do that is if we put everything that he tought...learn from it....then apply what we've learned to our lives....and then share what God has done through the change that we make from being lost to being found....and explain the joy and freedom that we now live in....if theres strife....if thiers pain....your not walking in the vicory that God's already won for you when he sent his son to die...........WHOA......and thats a whole nother story....one that maybe i'll talk about latter.....or maybe not......i don't know.......dont even ask me how i got to type all of that.....i seriously didn't even mean to...
---
These ideas and these thoughts, are all apart of what this world needs to hear.....for one we don't see people healing people everyday in our schools.....we don't see eyes being opened...and lame walking.....sure we see it over in other countries.....but not here in america.....we need to begin to see things happen in america.....this is my hearts cry....this is my prayer.....Lord help us all to become strong and mighty warriors to go forth from our comfort zones...and rise up as the disciples you've called us to be.
---
I have no idea what kind of response this is going to get...heck...pastor shaun is probably going to be the only one who's going to see this for a while......or either that the first one no doubt.....i feel in my life i need to step up into just as much as in this letter/post...whatever you want to call it.....this message wasn't just for those who read it...it's also for me....theres alot that i have to step into...i'm 20 years old...just graduated high school last year.....plus theres alot of other things in my life that are making me feel very overwhelmed and frustrated....i'm no different than anyone else...i'm saying these things because i know thier truth...and i also know theres something that God wants to do with this generation of teenagers....God's calling his people to rise up and be history makers...(i love that song)......you know what...i think i'm done....I just got a call from a friend of mine letting me know that i'm missing a meeting that i should be in right now......arg.....cant belive i forgot all about that.......my thoughts are here....and these thoughs are going to continue to remind me of what i must do to raise the bar as well......So peace be with all of you....and may you learn to be lead by the holy spirit all the time....not just some of the time..

With Love,
Benjamin O'Donnell


Current Mood: ecstatic
Friday, February 22nd, 2002
6:16 pm
[machiko3377]
3rd memeber!!
Yo yo!! :) Hey guys, I'm jess. I joined mainly becuase Jesus ROCKS!! I am studying to become a youth pastor and this looked cool. God bless. Hope to hear and write more soon!
In Him
~Jess

Current Mood: excited
Tuesday, February 12th, 2002
10:43 am
[volcom832]
2nd member!
dude whats up. =D
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